Communication Patterns

Personally, I feel that the submissive symmetry pattern would be the most difficult to change. This pattern gives me the impression that both people would have a difficult time not only identifying that they are constantly in control, but also in identifying when it is appropriate to be in control, and when not to be in control of a situation or conversation. Using the example in the book of deciding where to eat, I would imagine that most of these conversations end in a less than exciting dining experience when a place is simply chosen out of frustration and not through any real desire to have that type of food, or go to a favorite restaurant. Perhaps the most damaging to a relationship is the competitive symmetry system. I could see this pattern working well where the boundaries of competitiveness are clearly understood by both parties. Otherwise, I could see this pattern leading to a constant flux of dominance or superiority by one party while the other party constantly feels undervalued, or submissive and weak. Regarding the pattern most damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals, however, I feel that it is the submissive symmetry where both parties struggle to relinquish control. The context of a relationship is important in this example, as part of the defining elements to a relationship is that to some degree there is a care towards the other’s opinions, thoughts, and emotions. If both parties are struggling with themselves, as well as constantly attempting to satisfy the other’s needs, this could lead to some very difficult relationship terrain to navigate through.